AfroFinland

It has been too long. I have been away from the country where my heart is. It feels like I have no word to express how I feel.

And then I find this blog, AfroFinland, I read, and I am amazed. The words come so easy for him. But it is the same feeling :)

Nigeria ♥

Forest

I was born in a country where I can feel safe. I am born in a city where I know no fear, other than the fare of other childrens cruelty. I am born to a place some minutes away from civilization. I lean to love the silence and the isolation.

Our closest neighbor was the forest. Our house was not visible from the road. I can not call it a street, because it was a road made out of sand and dirt.

When we had heavy rains, we did not know if we had a road at all. The water it self could eat it up and we were stuck where we were. Icy cold winters the snow and the ice covered the roads, if there was nobody that took care of the snow or put sand on the ice, we had no choice but to stick to where we were.

I remember a time when we had to drive over a small piece of the road, because the water had eaten most of it. If we would have started a little bit later, there might not have been any road left and we would have had to postpone our trip.

I remember a time when we parked our car at the top of the road instead of driving it downhill, because the road was so slippery we did not know if we would be able to drive back up once we finally reach down, If we would even reach down without loosing control and end up in the forest.

I remember a time when we had a party in the middle of the winter. When it started to snow. And the snow fell and fell and fell. Some decided to go home earlier, and some stayed for longer. The ones that stayed for longer ended up staying the whole night. There was too much snow to even drive on the road.

I remember we having so big windows. Guests always asked if we were not scared. As if the windows themselves would be scary. What would we have to be scared of? Apart from the forest the neighbors sheep were our closest neighbor. We had  two families that were close neighbors. One about 500 meters away, the other one about 900 meters away. We knew them both very well, and they were noting to be afraid of.

We used to spend hours and hours in the forest, playing, running, climbing. If there is somewhere I feel safe, that is the forest.

I went for a walk during the week. From a friends place I drove to where I knew there is a path in the forest. I have never walked it before, and I wanted to check it out. My friend didn't understand. Am I going there alone?

As I am in the forest a friend send me a message, we chat for a while. I tell him I am at the forest. He ask me with who. I answer I am alone. He ask me if it is safe?

I do not even need to stop and look around. I am alone in the forest. What is there to be afraid of? I have the knowledge to have respect for snakes. It is a kind of forest where I can always hear the sound of the cars driving on the nearby road, so there will be no animals to disturb me. Not that we have that dangerous animals here anyway.

The most dangerous are the small ones. Too small for me to even see on its own in the forest. The kind that will come on my body and press their head inside my skin and suck my blood. Why is that one dangerous? It is not dangerous by itself, but it can carry diseases that can be transferred to me. Diseases that uneaten can kill me. But these kind of small ticks are not only to be found in the forest, but everywhere were is grass.

So, in the forest, I feel safe. Even though I would prefer a forest where I can not hear the cars. A forest that when I walk, my only fear would be that I would get lost.

Security

In my country I can feel safe. I can walk outside after dark, although that is not true for the bigger cities anymore. And it is no longer recommended to walk outside after dark alone. Even though I do it where I live.

We have police walking, biking, driving, ever riding horses during summer, around in the city. I do not see them so often, but every once in a while I see one walking, biking or I see a policecar. On horses I don't remember if I have ever seen or if I only know about them.

But that is not my point. The police have guns, I think, they have batons, they have handcuffs and I never ever see what all they have. They are just dressed in blue, walking, driving, biking, what ever, around to see to our safety.

I was in Lagos. The first time I did not see policemen outside. Only the security at the airport, and my eyes...they had to be big like plates! WHAT a gun!! Not that small one that you put away so that nobody knows you have it, but the one that is child-size! Wow! If I would know guns I would probably be able to tell you what kind, but I didn't even dare to look straight at it!

This time when I was in Lagos we were walking and all of a sudden I saw them. The police checking the road. And the guns....amazing! I would not want to talk to them no matter what, I do not even think I would walk up to them if I was in trouble. They did not make me feel safe. They did not make me feel unsafe either, but they made me want to keep my eyes at the ground so that I could walk past them without them noticing me.

...yeah....cause that will work! The only white in the whole area! They will not notice me if I do not look at them....or do they??

Your eyes are...different

I was just sitting among some girls that Honey knows. I have met them before and I really like talking to them. We have discussed if I pray, if I can take them with me when I go, how I like it in Nigeria, stuff like that.

Todays topic was actually not them talking to me, but them talking to each other about me. I do not understand their language, they can be selling me for what do I know. I know that they will not, but still!

They were talking, pointing at me, pointing at my eyes and their own eyes. And I was surprised! What I know is that people here do not see eyecolor! ...well, what I know is only male response  of course, friends of mine that have told me about it. And here I am, in Lagos, among a bunch of girls that are truly discussing the color of my eyes!

I do not say anything, I let them be, they will turn to me, I know they will, when they are ready for it. And I didn't have to wait for long before one of the girls translate, she likes the color of my eyes, they are not like theirs, she call theirs black. Even tough in certain lights they have amber-color eyes, and that is so beautiful! A very dark color, that actually looks black if it would not be for the certain lights that make them show their real color. Anyway. She tells me that my eyes are, then she pauses for a moment, and tell me, they are different. I want to ask her, what color does she think I have, but the question slips my mind when she tells me that they have lenses here so that they can change the color of their eyes.

We have that too in Finland, I tell her.

And in my mind, I wonder, what is the point of changing the color of their eyes....as all the males I have talked to, does not even know that my eyes are different. The last one that I asked, told me that my eyes are black, and white. One have told me that I have green eyes. So, will guys even notice if a girl spends money on a lens just so that she can have different color on her eye?

Oh! I'm sorry!

There are so many different people on this worl. Some are white, some are black, some are red, some are yellow, some are smart, some are dumb, some are kind, some are evil. And the beauti of it, colour of your skin does not tell weather you are smart or dumb, kind or evil, we are all the same!

Colour is only the first thing you see when you see another person. Well, I usually look at the colour of the eyes first, but I have got to know that everybody doesn't even notice that there are different colours in eyes.

Here I live as the only white among everybody that is black. Do they treat me the same? No! I do not care that much, and I try not to notice. The most noticable is that everybody want to take pictures of me, I can handle that, I can smile, even though I can honestly say that in some pictures I do not smile for real, because I am so tired of smiling in a picture. They want to great me, say hi and I try to regocnize who greets me so that I can be polite enough to greet them back, though Honey still have to point out that there are people greeting me, I am still not used to complete strangers just wanting to say hi. And what is the right answer to ”Welcome!”? If it would be one time, then I can say tank you or thanks, but when I am faced with it about once a day. Well, it should be different people, so I guess it might me okay to say thank you to everybody...?

The biggest difference I met just yesterday, I was tired and dizzy, I guess I had not been drinking enough water, again. We were walking home, along the road that is mostly dirty messy puddle with dry areas along the sides where people walk. Honey was in front of me, I was looking at the ground to where I should put my feet, sometimes it is a small area where I can walk without sliding down in the mud. I was about to pass a group of men talking when I lost my balance for a second and bumped into one of them, I instantly turned to him and said that I am sorry. He quickly tunred to me, automatically answering sorry or it's okay or what ever he said, the words were lost for me when I saw the change in his face. From the automatic answer that he would give everybody, to the surpriced face seeing a white and the change to say that he was sorry instead of what ever he was about to tell me before. I did not stop to reflect about it, because we were on our way and I still needed to see where I put my feet.

But the surpriced face stayed with me. But I ca nunderstand, during this trip I have seen one white girl other than me, and Honey pointed out one white man, that I am not so sure was actually white, if he was he had spent a lot of time in the sun gaining some color, but I would not call him black.

Pop vine?

I am now in Lagos. At our hotel. We have the most funniest fridge ever! It does about as it self wants too....sometimes everything inside the fridge freezes! Sometimes everything inside the fridge melts....sometimes it is just off. And sometimes it behaves like it should be.

Today I was looking for something to eat or drink, I picked a yoghurtdrink that we bought, I left the fridge door open as I was trying to reorganize to make space and take away some stuff that was not supposed to freeze. When I think and drink I hear a POP-sound and all of a sudden the fridge has vine inside!

I quickly remove the vine bottle and realize it has to have broke, make it got frozen also...? Well, it didn't break, but the cap was pressed out because it WAS ice!

Letting the vine melt and then we had some vine drinking to do. Seriously GOOD vine! I could drink that one like juice! So nice! Hope I find this one at home.

Temper in a fight

I do not have a problem to go in between fights. If somebody is fighting, I can intervene. Usually I do not do much more than step between. Usually that is the only thing needed.

That is not true for all situations.

Sometimes the parties do not care that somebody comes between. And during those times I could get hurt.

As my father said once, I am like my mother. When I was created, the fear was forgotten.

Last time I was in a fight, or in-between a fight, I did get hurt. I realize it was more than I could handle. But I wasn't afraid. Usually when everything is over and the adrenalin wears off I start shaking, it did not happen.

I am not proud, I don't regret it, I am not happy about it, I am not sad about it, but if I could go back in time, I would not do it differently. Oh yeah, I know what I could do differently, I will not go into details, but I know what I should have done to not get hurt. But that was so unpredictable, I would probably do the same next time anyway.

Still, I am told I can not do the same in another country, the country in my heart. And I will trust the person who told me that, cause he knows the temper of the people there better than I do, and even though the temper in these cold latitudes are lower, we can still get such a hot temper that we end up hurting each other.

I know! I have that temper in me, but I don't hurt anything that is alive. My worst lost of temper was when I was about 18 years, and the victim was my sister. She made me so angry I saw red! I have never in my life, before or after, been that angry. I did not think, I picked up a shoe (the thing closest to me), I pulled my arm back and for a split second I realized what I was doing and as I threw the shoe at her I fixed the throw so that it did not hit her, but at the couch where she was sitting.

I saw the fear in her eyes, I saw the chocked faces of my parents, but I did not care. I went to my room. She did apologize for what she did to make me that furious, and I leaned that I have to keep my head clear and never let the red take over. And yes of course, my parents came talking to me about my behavior.

So I'd say no, it is not different in different countries. But of course, if it is people with higher temper, of course the fights will be more higher.

To apply for a visa

To go to the country that is closest to my heart I need to have a visa. The question how it is possible that it is closest to my heart??

I live my everyday life, I do what I have to do, I live my days the way that I want, work, entertainment, friends... I sit down and stop thinking. I let my thoughts wander. Maybe I am on a break, maybe I am using the toilet.. when I return to reality, I really do return to reality! Sometimes I am so dislocated that I don't even know in which country I am, cause when I look at the walls around me, they are not the walls I was seeing when I want looking outside me, inside, in my mind, I saw different walls. I was in a different country...

But back to the visa. I need to apply for a visa. People kept telling me that I will get my visa, it is given to me, I do not need to worry! But if there is anything that I have learned during these past 2 years, NEVER take anything for granted! NEVER live fully in your dreams, remember to keep both feet on the ground, cause if you fall, you will not get as hurt as if you were out in outer-space when beginning to fall. And the higher up in your dreams you are, the more harder the ground will feel when you hit it.

So I looked up on the internet how to apply. I took the visa application form. I filled it in truthfully. Started to surf around on their homepage to know what else I need to attach. I remembered some, I need to have a letter of invitation, stating where I will stay and also that my husband is responsible for me during my stay... Why? Why can I not be responsible for myself?? I understand that this country is dangerous, and it is better for me if I have somebody that takes care of me. But putting the responsibility of me and my health in the arms of somebody else? Isn't that too much to ask for? How can a person handle that responsibility? I understand the mixed feelings my husband must feel when I come. I would be happier if he would not have to have the responsibility of me on him. Because I am an unpredictable woman, I don't think twice, dare me and I will try it! But, maybe it is good, good that he has responsibility over me, because I can not do what I want, I HAVE TO consider that if I am stupid enough to get hurt, the blame will not only be mine. It will also be his...and I would NEVER want to put that on him!

Other than the invitation letter I need to put the receipt that I have payed the visa fee and the administration fee.... This is the part I hate the most. Not only cause the cost of a visa, but because it is to be payed to a Swedish account, and to transfer from Finland to Sweden is expensive....after this time I actually opened a Swedish account so that I can pay directly from Sweden next time.

I also need to put a envelope which my address so that it can be sent back to me. And of course I need to pay the postal fee. Plus I need to put two resent passport size photos. ...did I forget anything? Oh yeah! My passport! Of course!

I had a list that I printed out from the internet where I checked and double checked everything. I then brought everything to the post office and there I checked and double checked it again!

Then I let go of my letter. I had sent everything and could only count on the post delivering it to the right address in time. Why in time? Cause going to this country was not planned that very long. It was a decision made by to people who has been away from each other for too long and that realized if I don't travel now, I travel in September/November....and I do not want to wait another day!

I went home and I waited. I checked the tracking code that it has arrived. I called the embassy. They did not have it. They did tell me to have patience and asked me to call back in three working days. I did, the only information I wanted was to know that my passport is with them and not missing. The lady that answered told me that she had seen the passport, she was looking for it, and as she was looking I calmed down, it has reached them. She then told me that it has already been sent back to me the same morning!

So then again, I started to wait. I talked to my husband, and we planned nothing. We did not plan which dates I should arrive, only the ones we had decided very quick for the visa application, but they were not confirmed without the visa. One day went by, the next day, I went to the post office both days to see if they have anything for me. They had nothing.... I went home, disappointed. I wanted to know the answer... when I arrive home I see a letter on my floor. A letter with my own writing!

I looked at the letter. It took less than one second before I got what the letter was containing! I closed the door and sat down directly on the floor with all my clothes on and opened the letter send from the embassy of Nigeria. I took my passport out and open it. I got so happy to see the visa inside!

Directly I called my husband, unfortunately he didn't pick it, so I even forgot to tell him later when I was talking with him! I only informed him that I am sending the money for my booking. He asked why I want to send it direct and I realized, I hadn't even told him yet!

How do I break up?

After our first night out we saw each other every day. I was not a very kind girl. I was doubting. What was I thinking?? He love me! How can I be encourage him when I do not have any feelings at all?

Well, I had one feeling. I enjoyed being together with him. I did want to see him every day. I enjoyed our times together. We never told anything to our friend that didn't want us to be together. I was ashamed. I had broke a trust. But I could do nothing. Cause I didn't think there was nothing wrong other than I had been with one of his friends that he did not want me to be with....yeah....it was not right...

But it was so right!

I had a friend over with her boyfriend, or if they were married already then...anyway. They stayed at my place. We met A, I called him. We even went out together to the nightclub. When coming home we went via the grill to pick something to eat. Me and A shared one dish, they were that big. That grill is no longer there. We missed it when it closed.

We sat on one bench, talking, laughing, eating. Then we said good night, I went with my friends and he went home. They started to asked me about him. They told me that I love him. I laughed and told them they were crazy. I did my very best to actually keep the subject away. But they did not give up! They claimed that they saw it from the way we were kissing in the line to get food. Were we kissing? I'd say no! I didn't kiss him outside before I was certain of the way I felt about him. ...or did I??

What they said got to me. I could not love him! How can I not know that I love him?? I had tried to figure out a way to end this before it got to serious. I wanted to end it, but I did not want him to he hurt, I wanted him to realize himself that I was not the girl for him! Oh the methods I tried!

Once I hurt him so bad! I hurt him so bad, that I realized I never ever wanted to see him that hurt! But if I would not have, I would not have known how that made me feel, so I do not know if that was just something we had to live through. The solutions to the problems I gave him was just awesome! But could it really be true that I love him without even knowing?

I looked through the pictures I had of him, and all of a sudden there is a picture of me.....with eyes sparkling in a way that I look like I am the most happiest woman on earth. I look at the picture. And I know, A is the one taking the picture. I realize that when he tells me "You don't look at anybody else the way you look at me" is true. I can no longer answer "I can't look at you anyway else, I look at everybody the same!". Because I have never, never ever seen myself that happy.

Finally, when I sit in his lap, with arms around him. Not thinking about anything. The thought runs through my head, so fast that I even open my eyes in surprise. The feeling is so strong and so true.

I LOVE YOU and I am never letting you go! You are the best thing that have ever happened to me!

The journey with you is filled with rocks and stoned, sometimes we fall, sometimes we have to turn around to find another way. But we will not get lost. We will find the way to be together.

Because a feeling this strong. Happens once in a lifetime. IF you are lucky.

I am lucky you are stubborn and knew what you wanted and what you felt, when I was still struggling in the dark and could not see what I had right in front of my eyes.

Feeling of protection

We were at the nightclub, first time I was out with A. I did not know him that well. We were there with some common friends. In the same building my ex was working. I was then and still am very good friend with my ex, so I wanted to go up and say Hi to him.

I did not say that I wanted to go talk to my ex, I only said that I wanted to go upstairs for a while. My friends had just sat down at a table, so it was the perfect time for me to sneak away for a couple of minutes to talk to my ex and then come back. What I did not plan was that A would reply that he is coming with me. I got surprised. I froze. I thought about the fact that me and my ex had just separated some months ago, I thought about the fact that he might not want to see me with another man, together with him or not. At least not yet. No alternatives made it through my brain. And I realized I have to say something, so I said "Okay", then we turned and walked upstairs. So many things went through my head, but going upstairs and showing myself with a strange man, NOT greeting my ex would be even worse, so I came up, went straight to my ex and said hi, then I turned to A and introduced my ex "This is my ex" I turned to my ex and introduced A. A left us and went a couple of meters away. Of course my ex had something funny to say about A (and it wasn't bad, I even told A about it right away when I went back to him) and we chatted for a couple of minutes. Then I said I need to go back to A. We went together downstairs and back to our friends. I wanted to dance, so I asked my friend, B, to dance. He didn't want to, so I begged again. He still did not want to so he said just dance with A, he likes to dance! I looked at A, I looked at B....B did not want me to be together with A...I was confused. I looked at A and grabbed his arm and asked him to come dance with me.

We danced, and I realized that he kept an eye on our friend, cause he also knew he did not want us to be together. This just made him even more interesting. I forgot about the fact that I do not want a relationship.

Later in the evening I saw a girl that I knew was under aged. I told the guards about it and she got thrown out. After that I was alone at the dance-floor cause nobody was in the mood to dance. Suddenly a girl appears in front of me, the sister to the under aged one. She was intimidation, she threatened me. I tried to stay calm, but my stomach was a mess, I was scared. The only thing I could do was to stand there and listen to her, trying to talk to her and try to calm her down. I do not know if there was even anybody else around. She calms down a bit but she leaves me with another If I ever talk bad about her sister again she will kill me!

I was left at the dance floor. I had lost my want to dance. I was shaking. I turned and walked to the table where my friends were. I needed to tell them what had happened. I was almost there when somebody grabbed my arm, I spinned around and I look into A:s eyes as he asks me what happened. I was surprised. He had from a distance realized I was not okay. I do not know if he saw me on the dance floor or if he just saw me coming. I could right away tell what had happened to somebody that actually cared. He was not happy to hear what had happened.

I went to the guards to see if they remember that under aged girl so that she will not come in ever again. They said they do. I told them good, cause the sister threatened me to death. The guard was chocked. Well, she needs to be trowed out too, cause that is illegal treating. (Is there any legal threatening?).

She was finally found and trowed out. And I did not need to point her out. She got to know a different reason why she was trowed out.

It didn't take long before a girl arrived to out table. I got introduced and she leaned in, just as she recognized me and asked me to come and talk to her. I saw no reason not to, so I let her lead me away. I had taken about 2 steps when A grabbed me again and asked what was going on (he knew I did not know this girl), she assured him that it was okay, and I said that I was okay, so he let me go, but he was not happy about it.

I talked to the girl and it turned out that she wanted me to come explain something to the guards. I didn't understand everything, but I agreed. I came outside and stood eye to eye with the girl that wanted to kill me! Seeing her again made me take one step back! I was scared! That was my first reaction! I told myself I can be calm, I was surrounded with 3 guard. So when she saw me and came towards me I took a deep breath and went to her.

She asked me to explain to the guards that I did not call her a bitch! I was surprised (again) for a moment, then I found myself and said, no, you did not call me a bitch, you said that you would kill me, that is worse! She talked to me for a while, tried to get me to talk to the guards to let her back in. I told her I do not have the power to change their decision. Finally she apologized (but not let back in) and I accepted her apology. As I talk to her I happened to look through the door. And who is there to make sure that I am alright...A.

When I come back inside, he is tired of dancing and wants us to sit down. He sits in the couch with his arm along the back of the couch. I look at the arm, I think about what it would mean to sit next to him, with his arm behind me. I smile and I sit down next to him. He informs me that he will walk me home, to make sure that I arrive home safely. He tells me "Jag älskar dig"

I ask him if he knows what it means. He tells me yes, it means "I love you"

I accept that he loves me. But I am still scared. I am not ready for this kind of love. The kind that is 24/7 even when we are not even together.

Annoying!

I have heard so many times that if somebody likes you they are annoying, they keep bugging you and pulling girls hair and bla bla bla...I do not like the explanation "they like you, that is why they act like that!" that is not seeing a problem!

Anyway.

I was at a friends place almost every day for 2 summers ago. I enjoyed it there, I had a friend that I could spend hours and hours with without realizing the time was passing. I liked to listen to him talk and also commenting once in a while, but for the most part I liked to be listening. Every once in a while he had some other friends over too. I liked them also, and we had so much fun!

Then there was this one guy, that I didn't talk to that much. He was there, but he was different. And as time went by I started to get annoyed with him. The music he played, the way he was.... starting to get under my skin. He also claimed that me and my friend were together, that we had feelings for each other. I was laughing, I did not want a relationship and I had no feelings other than friendship. I replied that he can call us what ever he wants. My friend on the other hand did not like it and tried all to convince the other guy that there was nothing between us.

Then my friend started to tell me that this guy has feelings for me. I was still laughing. I did not want a relationship, and as this one had feelings for me, I did not want anything to do with him. But he kept telling me how this guy feels about me. And at the same time warning me, because he did not want him to be playing with me and my feelings.

I can understand the feeling of protecting a friend, as he has lost friends just cause others have played with their hearts.

Despite everything that he told me and despite everything I did not feel....he once told me something that I replied "Tell him to try!". I was convinced that what ever he does, he will never win my heart. From that moment, and I remember that moment really clearly, there was a spark inside me. I got interested about this annoying boy. What is it that makes him feel so strongly about me? When we have not even been talking?

And once I was there again, at my friends place. I was having my day turned wrong, I couldn't sleep in the night. And sometimes it helps if I just remove one night and start over. So I wanted to go out. I wanted to go out partying and have fun! And this annoying boy, A, wanted to join. I thought that would be awesome! Just let's go! I still knew what my friend would be thinking, as he did not want us to be together, I wanted him also to join. And finally we managed to talk him into coming. And also another friend joined.

As we left the apartment I got a mission. To find a girl to A, I thought it was a joke so I said yes of course! When I then realized he was not joking I couldn't figure out a way to say, yeah well....I was joking... Who was I supposed to introduce him to? I found him annoying! (Yes, I have said it before!)

As we biked into town and waited for the other friend to arrive, I for the first time actually talked to him. Because he kept reminding me about my promise. And he made me laugh! I pointed out girls that would be good, and pretended to be sad when they had already passed.

We started to talk about where we wanted to go, and I have my favorite place. I said I want to go there. My friend wanted to go to another place, for A it made no difference. Finally we saw that the line to the place where my friend wanted to go to was sooooo long, we decided to go where I wanted to go. I went to check the price as they waited. And when I walked away A shouted "Jag älskar dig!" behind me. I was surprised  of course, but I know that in his culture you can say I love you early in a relationship, and also, I did not know if he knows the meaning of it. So I turned around, put my hands over my heart and sounded "Aaaaw!" then continued walking.

The first time I saw you

We are never prepared on what life has in store for us. Funnily enough I still remember the first time I saw you. It is funny, cause when we first met I was not even the slightest interested in another man, and definitely not a man from an other culture. Simply cause I had met a guy just the week before that made me wish I will never meet anybody like him again. I was still scared and suspicious.

It was during the summer, I have tried, but I do not remember the date, but it can have been a friday. I was working, out in the area of my work that we call Garden. All of a sudden a guy passes me. I only see that guy, cause he reminds me of a friend. A friend that just a couple of days before has told me that white girls have a hard time recognizing him on the street, cause all the black look the same to us. He passed me and it took me some seconds to realize, he is different color...and I know that one! I was busy with work, so I could not run after him, but I had to tell him that even though white girls can not separate him from another black guy, he can not separate a white girl from another white girl either! So when I got a small break, I started searching.

I found him, on the other side of the dance floor. The dance floor was empty, that is why I think it was a friday. I saw him, my friend, and I smiled and put my arms out to the side going towards him and when I came closer I informed him that he passed me and that he can not recognize a white girl from another! He greeted me and introduced me to his friend. I had seen he had a friend, but I payed him no attention. I was polite enough to tell him....to tell you hi, how are you? before I completely ignored you and talked to my friend.

This night it was fun working. It is always fun working when there is somebody that I know so that I can change a couple of words with them when I pass. And also, there was not that many people, but still work to do, so I could work the way I like, with dance-movements.

I then remember when I found my friend alone at a table. So I went there and asked him how he was, and where his friend was at. I got to know that you were somewhere else, that you did not have the patience to sit down, but you wanted to enjoy. Or however he put it. I stopped to talk for a while, cause I had no stress. Suddenly you appeared, I more sensed your presence than actually saw you.

Up til now I have no actual memory of you. But then you touched my bracelet and told me that you liked it. I was so surprised. I am not used to guys actually noticing small things like bracelets, and definitely not  pointing them out. And that small touch... I found myself quickly enough, I looked at my arm, said thank you and said that it is not real silver. To which you answered you don't care. I remember that I did not know what to say next. And I realized you had a bracelet around your arm also. And it was beautiful. And I told you so. You still have it.

After this small conversation I really had to go back to work. You went back to the dance floor I guess. I looked at you when you were leaving.

At the end of the night, I hadn't even payed enough attention to remember your name. But the way you surprised me...you managed to enter my mind. And even though I did not want to have anything to do with you...you respected that and instead gave us a good start.

A good start to the journey of my life. A journey where you have proved me wrong so many times. And with every time I have been wrong, it's been because everything I have thought up til then was crushed and smashed into pieces. Leaving me amazed, happy and surprised that in this word, it exists guys like you.

Water

While I was in Lagos, we only drank bottle water. Making us go to the store almost every day, cause we need water all the time.

Once there was a situation where I needed water. So I took the bottle next to the bed. I drank from it, and I finished it. Honey watched me, and said nothing. Some moments later he was thirsty. I told him we have water in the fridge. He told  me, no we have not, I finished the last one.

I just looked at him. Why did he allow me to finish the last water? I asked him about that, but he only answered that I needed the water. Well, so does he!

Next time when we were in the store I looked at a water boiler. I looked at the price, and I made up my mind. We were going to buy a water-boiler! We talked about it, me and Honey, and finally he agreed with me. Having a water boiler made it possible for us to boil the water we got from the tap, making sure we never run out of water. And when I leave he and his family will be able to continue using it.

We used to boil a full can of water, then put it into those empty bottles we had from the water we bought. Then we could store it in the fridge and have cold water when ever needed.