Oyibo

When I came to Lagos I came with a plane where there was a lot of white people on board. At the at the airport there were a lot of white.....but after that I do not know where they disappeared. Lagos is a big city, the biggest in Nigeria. Even when I asked honey how many live there he didn't know, and he said it is impossible to know, even if there are numbers, they are not correct. And I actually believe him! It is easy to calculate every person here when we have a different system. I will not compare the systems, as I know NOTHING of theirs, I still have a lot to learn about the country of my husband! And I love everything I know about it! Every country has it's good and it's bad. Taking all of Finlands population and but it on an area as big as Lagos and we will have problem here too....I suspect this area would be SO much more dangerous.....no doubt!

After I left the airport, I found and recognized my Honey so easily! I had been scared I would not. It had been so long....SO LONG! And people change, I sometimes miss my friends because they have changed something! Just recently I had a friend that cut his hair....I see him almost everyday! I talk to him almost every day!! And when I saw him I first recognized him, then I hesitated, I looked at him and I did not recognize him anymore, but I saw on his face that he recognized me so I had to act like nothing and just pretend that I wasn't totally amazed that I knew who he was, logically I knew, but my brain did not recognize him! If that can happen under a short period of time, what can not happen under 9 month?? I was so nervous, I was so scared! Not because I would be in a country that he claims is not safe, not because I would be the only white. Not even because I wouldn't recognize him right away, because I knew that if I don't he will. I AM the only white! So we will find each other. I was afraid I would not recognize him because I would feel so ashamed after and what would he think of the fact that his girlfriend couldn't recognize him? Oh my god! I don't even want to think about that! 

But I talked to him on phone, and I happened to look to the left, and I saw him! I SAW HIM! Not even the whole him, but a part of his face! And the happiness in me when I realized I do recognize him! I don't have to worry! Amazing! 

He took me to a taxi, we drove to the hotel, and after that I saw no white! I first didn't even realize that. It was when we went to a fast food place and he saw a girl that was white....he saw, not me, I then looked and realized that is true! She is light! I didn't say anything, cause I didn't think she was white, or I didn't have time to say anything before he turned to me and said no, she is not white, she is what we would call albino. I didn't ask what they call her.

They had a name for me, oyinbo, or how it is spelled. The name of the blog I found on wikipedia, but I have a small memory there should be an N somewhere....please feel free to correct me!

I heard that everywhere, even one of Honeys friends called me that when I talked to her on the phone. I learned to like that name. Even though it can be pronounced in a racistic way also, but I heard that only once. The women who passed me looked at me said something quick and ended with oyinbo, it sounded like she had something really ugly in her mouth that she really had to spit out so fast! I asked Honey what she said, but she didn't hear her. Or at least that is what he said... i don't think he would have translated it even if he would have heard her. But that is the only way I noticed any negative about being a oyinbo!

People wanted to greet me, they wanted to take pictures of me, they stared at me....well, I didn't notice the last one, but Honey told me every once in a while that he wish that they would just stop staring! I replied to him that I do not even notice, and he told me that is because I liked it! Lol! Well, the truth is probably closer to, I had other things to concentrate on, all new impressions, everything was new and exiting! Sometimes I just had to hold his hand so that I would not end up in a hole, because I was looking in a different direction!

They wanted to greet me, once Honey told me, "he is greeting you, say Dadani". So I did! And the person that was greeting me was surprised I answer in yuroba. But that is the thing! He asked me Bawonio? (I take no responsibility of my spelling!) They kept trying to speak yuroba to me! Sometimes I smiled, sometimes I answered are you sure?, sometimes I started to speak sweedish! Speaking sweedish immediately made them turn to english! Once when Honey talked to me in yuroba, just to amuse a personal at the hotel, I answered Kilonshile? ...Meaning "what is wrong with you"? Or "what happened".

About the only yuroba I actually know! But I think it is the best word/sentence I could possibly know....

Perspective and color

It has been almost a months since I was in Lagos. I still miss it everyday! I miss my husband also, but he is always in my heart and I talk to him everyday, so I do know that he is with me all the time. I do not miss him so much that it hurts....all the time, still I miss him that much sometimes.

When I was in Lagos I tried to write a blog or two, but it was impossible! What should I write about? Should I write about the fact that the roads were so bad I have never seen anything like it, and I can tell you that because that is what Honey told me when I arrived, he pointed it out two or three times and I got tired of it and told him I'm used to bad road! As he told me, that is bad roads in the countryside  this is the biggest city in the country....I had no answer to that! Or should I write about the fact that the cooling system in our hotel room was on so cold that I actually was freezing in Africa? Me and Honey was disagreeing on the perfect temperature of the room. Sometimes it was too cold for me, sometimes it was perfect for me, and a few times it even became too hot! And when that happened Honey pointed it out that NOW it becomes too hot!

I have so much fun with him! I can totally be myself! Some jokes I make he just hates, but I am starting to figure out when to shut my mouth, and sometimes he makes fun of me and I laugh at that, sometimes I don't like the jokes that he makes. But all and all, there is where I find the cultural differences! In the way to understand a joke! I told him as a joke that he can not do anything about my economic situation anyway and the answer I got instantly made me realize that it was NOT a joke I will ever bring up again! I can tell my friends the same, that they can do nothing about my economic situation, and they would just smile and that would be the end of it.

But now I have got a few questions from people that I have talked to when I got home from Lagos. I will take the one by one, if they keep coming!

How did it feel like when I stepped out to the airport after landing in Nigeria? Wow? I don't even know! I was finally there! I had my head full of the fact that I was missing an address of where I should stay, and what would I do instead. I had it on my e-mail. I asked the personal at the plane, they recommended me to talk to the immigration people....well, I would have to do that anyway! So I asked them, I said I can try and call Honey, so I did. It didn't go through! I tried again, it didn't work, so I told them it didn't work! I was thinking I could probably borrow their phone or something. They asked me to put his number down instead, so I did that! No problem!

I went through the last passport control just like that. Only a number and no address, no problem. I knew I could hire a trolley for my bags, I knew it was 100 naira. On the plain I had heard people talking about 150 naira, so I wasn't so surprised when the lady asked me for 50 naira more. I was only happy that I had enough naira with me. I had like 1200 naira, about 6 euro I think...... It felt safe having that amount, even though I know it sounds little. I knew I wasn't supposed to need more.

But talking about how I feel. I had an experience when I was in amsterdam. I was in the waiting area, it was almost empty, I went to the toilet, was strolling around and when I returned....where did all the people come frome? And not a single white? I usually don't see color. I can stand in a store with 3 personal, about 4 customers, where I am one and two are friends of mine and black! Yes, that happened to me when I got back from Lagos! When I stepped out of the store somebody was calling my name behind me, and I looked back and realized WE HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME STORE? I just told him, "How can I miss a black person here?" So I know I do not notice color. But when I realized I am the only white.....that was scary!

No, I was not scared to go into a country where I would be the only white. Never! It didn't even cross my mind! But standing outside the waiting area and realizing that, that was scary!

And how long did I have this feeling? For about as long as it took you to read the sentence above! I realized this is how black people must feel like when they enter Finland....then I went on a bench to sit and read. When I then entered the plane, there was like 40% white...? Where did they come from? I was so surprised!

It will never stop surprising me.....why do I not notice color??

Lagos

How can I describe Lagos? For you that have never been here? And without scaring you away? Because this is a lovely city! And how does it feel to be only white?

It felt a little strange when I came to the gate at amsterdam and I was a minority. Now I do not even care. Honey keeps commenting things like "When will they stop searing at you?" but I don't even see that anymore. Everybody wants to greet me, and once in a while talk to me in Yoruba  which I do not understand. Every once in a while he tells me what they say or explain that they are greeting me. And not to talk about all of his friends want to have a picture with me! Everybody here is so friendly and nice. At least everybody I have met.

The roads are bad, that he keeps telling me. When I replied that I do not mind, that where I grew up also had bad roads, he reminded me that I did not grow up in a city, and this is a city. But I still like it! I can not help the fact that I like Lags just the way it is!

And try crossing a road! Wait until it clears out, then run! He holds my hand when we crosses the streets, that way he can keep me safe.

I love the bikes that they use as transport. Honey keeps reminding me that they are not safe, but we do take them every once in a while, and I like them. I know that if we end up in an accident, there is nothing to cover us, but that is the case which ever bike one is using.

We can also take that vehicle that I have forgot the name of, like with three wheels and a roof, or a bus or a taxi. Taxi we have taken like only 2-3 times.

The one thing that is the most different from home is the way the air smells. It has a different smell. And the food of course! I love the food!

....I just realized that I am not even making any sense in this blog! I just love everything! I should wait until I am back in Finland before I write to get some perspective on things....over and out!

The journey of my life

Life really is a journey. And I intend to live it!

My latest adventure is as simple as following my heart. But it is not always easy. A lot of people had a lot to say....and even more are worried. Should that make me stop living my life? No!

On Saturday 22 October I stepped on to an airplane that would take me away from my own country. I have a friend to thank for dropping me to the airport, I would not have been able to take everything I wanted to take if it wasn't for him! And I am still grateful for taking time to drop me.

The airplane took off at 6am Sunday morning and landed in Amsterdam where I had to wait for my connecting flight. The flight that would take me to Lagos, to where the love of my heart lives.

If I was worried? No! Not at all! It is a dangerous country, I know, but look at it like this. People are surviving there EVERY day! What is saying that I will not survive? And I know that Honey will take care of me and do everything in his power to make me safe.

But there was still something worrying me. It had been 9 months since we last met. 9 months!! Will we even feel the same way about each other? What have changed? How about the culture? What am I allowed to do or not to do? I know I can not kiss him at the airport. And the thing that worried me the most, will I even find him? I was supposed to have a nigerian line with me, but that did not work, I already know it did not work. And I had told nobody. I knew I will go anyway, and I knew that I tell anybody they will worry, and for what? There is nothing they can do about that anyway!

The plane landed, I filled in the last paper for my visa, I waited for my bags, and I used my own finish line to call Honey. At first it did not go, the network was busy, always busy, but I kept trying, I wanted him to know I was on the ground. I left him a missed call. But he called me back. I told him I am waiting for my bags, that I will be with him soon. Finally I had them all and was going for the exit, when I was stopped! They wanted to know what is inside the bag. I told the lady, I talked for some while and she said it is okay, I can go. I was then stopped by a man that wanted to see my yellow card, the card that tells them I have the vaccine for yellow fever. I showed that and was finally on my way to the exit when an other lady stopped me, she wanted to know what was in the bags. My first thought was to say that I already talked to that other lady, but then I was thinking I can just answer the question, it is easier. She wanted to see so I opened the bag for her. Then she kept talking to me when all I wanted to do was go out to see if I could even find my man. Finally she let me go and an other guy came to help me push the wagon. I told him not to, but he did not mind me, so I figured what the hell. I knew I had to pay him, but I didn't know how to get rid of him. But he helped me to call Honey when my line didn't go again, so somethings he did. Other than trying to tell Honey to pay a lot of money because customs now had found something in my bag. He quickly asked me about that and found out that they did not find anything in my bag.


One of my worries was that I would not recognize him after all this time. Even though I had seen him on skype and talked on phone, seeing him live is something else. I didn't even need to worry! I recognized him the second I saw him! He came to me and gave me a the biggest hug! And then we walked with his arm around my shoulders. To just be near him again felt so good!


We came to the hotel and his friends were there with us for a while. But then they left us. I think it was nice to get to know some of his friends at first, just to give me some time to actually land and realize, yes, I am in Nigeria, I am with the man I have desired for so long. For me to figure out what I felt about everything. So how did it feel? It felt so natural! Like he had only been gone a couple of days, not more than a week! How can it feel so natural? I still don't know. How does it feel to kiss someone you have not kissed for so long? I hardly even knew how to kiss anymore! It felt strange, but also good, and after a while it was like I knew how to again.